is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
