i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
