You're so nebulous sometimes
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
