i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize