i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
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Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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