I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
where does the pee come out of this thing
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
