All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
