im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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