Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
