i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
