Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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