I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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