Non-Jews are for practice
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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