...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
