Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
