I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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