Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
