I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
