people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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