I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
