Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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