Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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