You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
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they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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