I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
