Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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