I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
