when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My vagina just clenched in fear
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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