It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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