wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
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Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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