our cab driver is having phone sex.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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