Someone shit on the floor
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
