i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
