How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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