Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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