I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
