I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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