someone owes me an orgasm
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
