Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
