It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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