i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
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Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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