dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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