They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
