woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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