Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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