In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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