he fucked my hip out of place.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
