I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
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Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
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You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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