I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
