They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
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I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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