In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
