remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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