You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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