I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Randomize
