Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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