perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
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She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
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So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
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