If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
