Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
