she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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