So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
