I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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