Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
