Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
