did you get engaged???
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
