Have you finally orgasmed yet?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he shaved USA in his pubs
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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