not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
