Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
