MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
